Today was a good day...

THE BAD: This morning was a bit rough. I keep waking up & being reminded of everything that has happend. I'm still in shock a little but its okay I'll get over it! I'm in a weird part in life where I just feel like I dont belong at home. I really miss Spain! I wish I could back and just forget life. I am really happy that I found the song that I fell in love with in Spain & i found it by coincidence. Nah I think I found it to make me happy in the morning & for the rest of the day. But then I got in a little fight with my mom & it just put me back to the emotionally unstable Bianca =( well like always that didnt last long (I hate being upset for long periods of time its unnatural for me).

THE AMAZING: I decided to ditch Milton & Victor for Sister Pinto & Sister Thurston. Best choice ever! We went to Sister Dewar's house & it was funny that she didn't recognize me at first. She thought I was another missionary that she just didnt know. Which is a good thing because I'm supposed to be blending in with the sisters & being a temporary representative. She made Curry Chicken & Coconut Rice (which SOUNDS & looks good). I had trouble eating it because the rice was like almost frozen & the chicken had little bones in it which grosses me out (Im retarded I know). I dont know what the heck Im going to do on a mission when I go eat at a members house. I'm pretty simple but at the same time very picky! I just dont like certain textures in my mouth blegh. Anyways! hahaha she had her neighbor Emma come over & of course she's from VIRGINIA. I have been meeting everyone from Virginia which is super flipping awesome. She is a super sweet lady & really funny. She has a Book of Mormon & is familiar with what we teach. She feeds missionaries & goes to some church functions. She claims to believe in what teach but doesnt want to join. She is a member of some scientific church & is content with what she is doing. She asked the sisters whether they have been members all their lives & they said yes. SO i spoke up & said well I was baptized Catholic & THEN in the Lds church. I told her my real conversion story & she seemed to be very intrigued by my story...so she's having us over for dinner!
We also visited a young family WHO ARE TOTALLY AWESOME! Carrie is a mother in her 30s who is inactive but doesnt really know anything about the church (TOTALLY RELATE). The sisters started talking about the BoM & the purpose of it. I told Carrie how Im going through a rough time & how reading the scriptures has helped me deal with things. I told her how I pray before I read & ask specific questions. Then when I read I feel like those questions are answered or I recieve guidance & comfort. She said she always wanted to read the scriptures & feel the way I do. I told her that if that is what she really wants that if she prays & asks & has faith that it will happen. She started telling me her issue with praying & how she feels like everytime she prays it comes out fake & she starts getting distracted & gives up. I think she feels like Heavenly Father is judging her because she feels fake & all that. I asked her some tough questions like does she feel worthy to have God listen to her prayers & etc. I talked to her about the adversary & how he doesnt want us to have a relationship with the Lord. He wants us to feel embarrassed & fake & all those bad feelings. I told her how when I do something wrong I start to feel ashamed to talk to God. However I know that the adversary is the one who doesnt want me to pray- not God. I told her to just pray to at least have a calm mind to be able to pray. I explained how everyday is a new day & she needs to try everyday even if she fails. I really love this scripture & I shared it with Carrie

2Nephi 32:3 "..Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do."

I told her that if she ever felt lost or troubled that she could always rely on prayer & scripture to help her feel comfort & to find guidance. She told me how she is facing some very hard times & what I told her is what she needed to hear.
The sisters were SO happy that I came. They want to take me out everyday & just keep me. They said I did really good & that Im not afraid to talk & be bold. YAY! Ahhh I love the Spirit because with it missionaries can really change lives.